Pool Rules Signs Leave Nothing To The Imagination

I’ve been scouting swimming pools at country clubs in the New York area recently, and I’m pretty amazed at how graphic the Pool Rules signs can be. Like this one, spotted at a country club with a $30K initiation fee and $30k/year membership dues:

“Discharge of fecal matter” – are you kidding me?? I know they’re trying to a find a polite way of saying “No crapping in the pool”…but doesn’t “Discharge of Fecal Matter” actually sound much worse? Also, in case you were wondering, “expectorating” is a fancy way of saying “spitting” (had to look that one up – I thought it might have something to do with being pregnant).

Here’s another sign, at a similarly expensive club:

Large sores??? Who are these members?? And there’s that defecation thing again. I didn’t realize pooping in public pools was such an epidemic…but then, I don’t belong to a $30k/year country clubs.

-SCOUT