Me chatting with LAX about airport filming:

Me: So can we film at X location?

Rep: No, absolutely not.

Me: How about at Y? Or Z?

Rep: Certainly not.

Me: OK. How about if you just let me know where filming is allowed?

Rep: That’s not how it works. You tell me where you want to film. I let you know if it’s possible.

Me: But isn’t that a bit round-about? Like, I can keep guessing at ideas, but wouldn’t it be easier to just tell me where you’ve allowed productions in the past so we can follow in their footsteps?

Rep: As I said, that’s not how it works. You say what you want. I let you know if it’s possible.

Me: OK. How about (guessing) A/B/C/D/E/F/G?

Rep: No/no/no/no/no/no.

Me: So, ah, this part on your site where it says LAX is film friendly…is maybe not entirely accurate?

Rep: Excuse me, but have you not heard of a little movie filmed here called Speed?

Me: YES! Excellent! I love Speed! Like when the bus blows up on the tarmac! Can we do something similar to what Speed did?

Rep: Absolutely not.

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